I need something to work for
Like, a goal or something. Sure I’ve set goals in my past but frankly I don’t give a care if I meet them or not, as long as I pay my bills and continue to not have to do anything. I am confident that I can have a 100k bankroll within a year from today and I really wouldn’t have to work too hard for it.
And by that I mean if I just work 30 hours a week for the next year I’d more than increase my bankroll to that amount, and that is just playing the shitty stakes of 100 NL Full Ring. So why don’t I do it? I can’t mentally…
Or is it I won’t mentally? I went through that realization tonight while talking with my poker friend Adil. I respect his opinion and frankly he works a full time job and STILL grinds poker at home every night, and he makes a ton of money. I was trying to find ways to either motivate myself or find out what keeps him motivated.
Maybe he values money more than I do right now? I don’t know, there was a time when I was in college where all I could do was think about making a ton of money. Was that the capitalistic Jeffrey and right now I’m in a communistic phase? I think a lot of it is just complacency and lazyness.
I was motivated a few years ago when I was actually buying things with the money I made. The last big thing I purchased was my TV, and even that wasn’t all that expensive. If it wasn’t for taxes I probably would hardly play at all, well that and bills.
Should I start having more fun with my winnings? Blow it on booze, food and other expensive lavishes? I think that is the only answer right now; if it increases the enjoyment that I get out of my winnings, which in term makes me motivated to play poker and then allows me to get a lot of hands in and make more money.
Now comes another question: what the hell do I need/want that I don’t already have? Paying off loans/credit cards just isn’t very exciting and frankly are pretty shitty motivational factors. Speaking solely of material possessions: I already have a nice car, I have all the video games I could possibly desire, I have a nice TV and tons of already useless stuff that I don’t already need or don’t use to begin with.
I do have some hobbies all of which right now are pretty cheap. The one thing I could maybe get behind would be to increase my stock portfolio every month if I make more than x amount of money. But that alone wouldn’t be enough to satisfy me as that really isn’t anything materialistic.
I think I’ve made strides in what it is I want to get from Poker tonight as I sit here and type my thoughts into my laptop. I think if I can find more reasons to play I then will be motivated and start to make some serious money. Until that happens though I don’t know what I should do. I’ll keep you all updated.
